Finding Your People in the LGBTQ+ Community

By Amber Leventry

Key Takeaways

• Finding LGBTQ+ community and chosen family is essential for mental health, providing belonging, support, and protection against bullying and isolation that disproportionately affect queer youth.
• Online communities, arts spaces, inclusive sports leagues, Pride centers, campus clubs, and volunteer opportunities offer multiple pathways to connect with people who understand and celebrate your authentic identity.
• You’re not alone in your journey — the LGBTQ+ community is ready to welcome you, and resources like The Trevor Project (text START to 678-678) provide immediate support when you need it.

Social connections are vital to mental and physical health. Having friends and people you can count on gives you a sense of belonging and comfort. To thrive in all areas of life, you need to feel like you’re part of a community.

No matter where you live, it’s possible to find connections with people who understand you in unspoken ways. LGBTQ+ folks often refer to these people as our chosen family. 

Research shows that LGBTQ+ young people are more likely than their peers to face bullying, suicide risk, and mental health concerns. Finding community is one of the best ways to nurture your mental health, because you are surrounding yourself with people who love you for you. These people advocate for you, encourage you to take care of yourself, and bring you happiness. They can also reduce harm from people who aren’t supportive. 

You may not be out to anyone or may be afraid to ask how to find these magical humans. Or maybe you’ve started looking but haven’t yet found your people. Here are some places to consider when you want to find your people within the LGBTQ+ community.

Online Communities

The internet can be a great place to find friends and LGBTQ+ community members. Social media apps such as Reddit, TikTok, Instagram, and Meetup as well as LGBTQ+ websites and advocacy groups are spaces you can find others like you and who share your interests. 

The Arts

From musical theater to anime, LGBTQ+ people often find subtle (and not so subtle) ways to fly their flags of identity. LGBTQ+ folks capture and showcase their lives through writing spaces too. Zines and fanfic are popular online ways for LGBTQ+ folks to share their joy and find friends. Books also offer reflection and community through characters. Sometimes just seeing yourself will help you feel less alone, especially if you aren’t out yet. 

Sports

Depending on where you live, there may be a queer-friendly sports league in your area. Roller derby, softball, kickball, and rugby are known to be inclusive, and they accept many levels of athleticism. Check out gyms, yoga studios, and CrossFit boxes, and choose a space that accommodates all bodies and abilities. Look at websites or call and ask about a studio or gym’s stance on inclusivity. Exercise and movement are great ways to feel stronger and happier and improve your mental health. Many LGBTQ+ people turn to exercise to find friends and peace of mind.

Pride Centers, Affinity Groups, and Campus Clubs

Local Pride centers often host meetups of queer youth. If you’re comfortable with others knowing you are part of the LGBTQ+ community, consider attending one. Finding a PFLAG chapter can also offer a welcoming place to find allies and members of the LGBTQ+ community. 

High school and college campuses also often have affinity spaces or Pride clubs that plan events and organize ways to socialize in safe and welcoming spots. If you don’t have a club like this, GLSEN can help you start and organize a gender and sexuality alliance (GSA) in your school.

It’s easy to feel lonely or like you’re the first to feel a certain way if your identity differs from those around you. Your feelings are valid, but you are far from alone. You are stepping into spaces that have been discovered and navigated before. The LGBTQ+ community is full of people who are ready to be the family you want and need. 

Volunteering

Offering your time, skills, and energy benefits others, but volunteering can also help connect you to a larger community. It’s also a great way to meet older mentors in the LGBTQ+ community. Local Pride centers or online LGBTQ+ advocacy groups are a good place to start. Queer Youth Assemble is another site that connects you with people collaborating to make the world better for everyone. 

If you are still struggling with challenges related to your gender identity or sexuality, it’s important to reach out for support. Reach out to The Trevor Project, a leading national organization providing crisis intervention services for LGBTQ+ youth, by texting START to 678-678 or calling 1-866-488-7386.