Resource CenterTips for Managing Anger

Tips for Managing Anger

A man sitting with his cat, looking out the window

Anger is a natural feeling, especially when we feel threatened or attacked in some way. Feeling anger and responding defensively is a survival skill. And, it’s also a natural, instinctive response to lash out when feeling threatened.

Read on for tips on how you can manage anger in most situations.

Three Approaches to Manage Anger

Express It

Like a pressure cooker, unexpressed anger will eventually find its way out — sometimes in unexpected or aggressive ways. The key is to:

Acknowledge your anger
Identify what’s beneath it, such as feelings of vulnerability, threat, or injustice
Express these feelings productively by journaling, engaging in an honest but respectful conversation with the person who upset you, or even getting outside for a brisk walk or run
Consider talking with someone you trust to help process these emotions

Suppress It for a Short Time

While long-term suppression isn’t healthy, sometimes we need a tactical pause to prevent harmful reactions. It’s OK to say, “I need to take a step back to calm down. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to talk.”

During this pause, try:

Taking deep breaths
Listening to music
Engaging in a brief distraction (like a playing a game or watching something lighthearted)

Find Calm

Beyond suppressing immediate reactions, calming techniques help address our internal state. You can have more control over anger by practicing:

Breathing exercises
Meditation
Yoga
Simple movement exercises

Other Practical Strategies to Deal With Anger

Relaxation and Self-Care

Our ability to manage anger is connected to our overall mental health and daily well-being. We’re simply more susceptible to anger when we’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or stressed. The solution is consistent self-care — regular exercise, long walks, meditation, quiet reading time, and other activities that help you feel relaxed and fulfilled.

Make these activities non-negotiable parts of your schedule. Pay attention to basics too: adequate sleep and moderating caffeine intake can reduce our tendency to react with anger.

Reframe

Cognitive restructuring is a fancy way to describe a coping tactic where you change how you think about things to cause less suffering. Cognitive restructuring can transform your anger response. When someone cuts you off in a meeting, your inner voice might scream, “They have no respect for me or my ideas!” Try reframing this thought: “Everyone’s eager to contribute today, and they might be feeling pressure to perform.”

This isn’t about dismissing your feelings, but rather seeing situations through a wider lens. Most often, others’ actions reflect their own circumstances rather than their feelings about us.

Make Small Changes

Recurring anger often signals a problem needing attention. Do you start your morning angry because you always forget something and have to go back to the house? Do you get ticked off every day at something a coworker does that makes your job harder? Sometimes small changes — like picking a spot for your keys or changing up your workflow — can prevent anger from taking root in the first place.

Listen Instead of Jumping to Conclusions

When your anger flares up, you might find yourself finishing others’ sentences in your mind or making quick assumptions. Do your best to allow these situations play out and meet them with patience and curiosity. If your teacher says “We need to talk about your test results,” for example, resist the urge to spiral into defensive thoughts. Ask clarifying questions. Listen fully before responding.

This requires setting aside ego, but the insights gained through authentic listening often dissolve anger before it takes hold.

Look for Patterns

Journaling about your daily emotional experiences can reveal powerful insights about what sets off your anger. Try to look for patterns: Do you feel especially reactive when you have an upcoming work deadline or school project? Does anger surface around certain people or situations?

Use these observations to make changes. Maybe you need a quiet workspace during high-pressure days, or perhaps certain relationships require stronger boundaries. Recognizing your patterns can help you make positive changes and prevent anger.

Seek Professional Support

Sometimes we think of therapy as a last resort when things get bad or we’re dealing with a mental health condition like depression. The truth is that therapists and counselors are trained to help us track, understand, and transform emotions — big and small — and you don’t necessarily need a mental heatlh condition to benefit from therapy.

If you find your anger is impacting your daily life and relationships with others, it may be helpful to get support from a professional who can help you work on coping strategies and come up with an anger management plan.

Anger is a normal part of life — but it shouldn’t take over your life. You can find ways to manage it and feel more calm and balanced in your day to day.