A Mother-Daughter Duo Share Their Mental Health Journey | JED

Embracing Mental Health Support Together: A Mother-Daughter Journey

Adison and Lori Schwartz, a Chicago-area teen and her mother, who have been on a mental health journey together.

For the 2024 back-to-school season, Macy’s partnered with The Jed Foundation (JED) and the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for the third straight year to raise awareness and funds in support of teen and young adult mental health. The campaign raised more than $1.3 million for JED and NAMI this year, bringing the three-year total donated by Macy’s to JED for this campaign to more than $2 million

This year’s campaign also featured JED ambassadors Adison and Lori Schwartz, a Chicago-area teen and her mother, who shared their family’s mental health journey.

Research by JED has shown that teenagers are most likely to turn to their parents first for help with mental health challenges – even before friends or other trusted adults. At the same time, the research found, concerns about how adults will react are among the top barriers to teens seeking help from the adults in their lives. A 2022 NAMI poll found that 48% of teens talk regularly with their parents about their mental health, and 74% of teens who have sought information about mental health trust their parents “a lot” as sources for that information.

With this research in mind, we asked Adison and Lori to reflect on their experiences. This is the conversation they shared with us:

Adison: In March 2020, as the pandemic swept across the globe, I encountered a profound loneliness and isolation unlike anything I had ever experienced. Overnight, my interactions with friends, teachers, and extended family vanished — a stark departure from the vibrant social connections I embraced and cherished.
Amidst this isolation, I was also diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), compounding both my physical and mental distress. Each day brought new struggles: debilitating migraines, overwhelming fatigue, and the inability to participate in normal teenage activities I had previously taken for granted. 

Lori: The isolation from Covid, combined with Adison’s side effects from POTS, changed her before my eyes. Gone were her carefree ways. Her smiles were fleeting. Her high energy levels were suddenly depleted. A veil of uncertainty seemed too heavy for her young shoulders.

As I watched Adison experiencing this mental anguish, I became consumed with her struggles.  I never experienced similar challenges, so despite my desire to relate, I found it difficult. In response, I started experiencing my own deep sadness. I felt helpless, more than I ever had before as a parent. I desperately wanted to erase her pain, to absorb it into my own being, to make it all better as I’d always been able to do in the past. But for the first time, I couldn’t fix her pain and make her anguish go away. 

Adison: My mom had always been my pillar of strength. She would wipe away my tears, or whisper reassurances. But suddenly this was no longer enough.  

Lori: I fought to find the right words and support to guide her through her challenges. I’m a problem solver and expected to be able to suggest solutions she could act on. However, I had never personally struggled with these emotions, so the truth was I couldn’t relate as much as I wanted to. Why couldn’t she just shake it off and revert back to who she was? While I worked on improving my empathy skills, I remained committed to being fully present for her. While I was far from perfect, I tried navigating these conversations with sensitivity and thoughtfulness.

Adison: My mom’s unwavering support, attentive listening, and unconditional love became my rock. Through our heartfelt conversations, I discovered a silver lining amidst my personal struggles. The profound loss of my connection with others and my open and honest conversation with my parents about my struggles sparked a desire within me to turn adversity into positive change. I became determined to make a positive difference for others – and I knew my mom and dad were going to be there to support me every step of the way.

Lori: What initially eluded us at the time was how my conversations were not only shaping Adison’s journey and helping her heal, but also profoundly transforming my own perspective on mental health. I learned that understanding how she felt was more difficult than I expected. My instinct to recommend activities for her to do just wasn’t impactful. We needed to dive deeper. Together, we embarked on a journey marked by open dialogue and shared vulnerabilities.

Adison: A couple of years earlier, my dad revealed the painful truth that my Grandma Sandy had not died from cancer, as I had always thought, but rather, after a decade-long fight with depression, had died by suicide. My dad believed that had there been less stigma and more openness in society around mental illness, she would have received more empathy, understanding, and support from her community around her. This revelation, coupled with witnessing the struggles of my peers and my own battle with anxiety during the isolating pandemic, gave me a profound sense of purpose. I would dedicate myself to being a mental health advocate and work to prevent others from enduring similar pain.

I became aware that many of my peers felt uncomfortable talking about their mental health or didn’t think they had someone who would listen and relate to them if they did. This inspired me to found You Are Enough (YAE), a nonprofit dedicated to establishing wellness centers in high schools. YAE centers provide safe havens where students during the day can process and reset their emotions without fear of stigma. Collaborating closely with school administrators, counselors, and local organizations, we empower students to openly and confidently embrace their mental health journeys.

Lori: Adison and I realized that our journey together was not solely about her recovery; it was a reciprocal learning experience. Her advocacy and healing through YAE helped me heal, too. I feel as if I’ve become more sensitive, aware and empathetic. Through her advocacy with YAE, she taught me how to help others. I thrived in seeing her genuine joy in helping others. Our journey underscored the mutual support inherent in mental health care, where caregivers learn from our children as much as children learn from them.

Adison and Lori: Our story emphasizes the critical importance of dismantling the silence surrounding mental health, fostering environments where teenagers feel safe seeking help without stigmatization, and equipping caregivers with the knowledge and resources to provide meaningful support. As a society, we must cultivate spaces where conversations about mental health are normalized and supported, devoid of judgment or stigma.

Let’s commit to becoming more supportive of sharing our vulnerabilities without fear or shame – and listening fully, without judgment or jumping straight to problem solving, when someone does so. By nurturing open, empathetic conversations about mental health, we can help more adolescents navigate their challenges and cultivate emotional resilience. Together, we can forge a world where every young person feels acknowledged, listened to, and supported.

Check out some of JED’s resources to support conversations about mental health between caregivers and their young people: 

Get Help Now

If you or someone you know needs to talk to someone right now, text, call, or chat 988 for a free confidential conversation with a trained counselor 24/7. 

You can also contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741-741.

If this is a medical emergency or if there is immediate danger of harm, call 911 and explain that you need support for a mental health crisis.