How to cope when life feels like too much
Important Takeaways
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You don’t need a crisis to take a break, and healthy coping skills can help when life feels like too much.
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Pay attention to whether your coping tools are working, and experiment with a mix of activities that help you feel more like yourself.
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If you’re struggling to find healthy coping skills or life feels overwhelming, reach out to someone you trust for extra support.
By Dillon St. Bernard
Everyone runs into stretches where life feels like too much: a stressful week, an argument that stuck with you, a big game or test coming up, or just a bad mood you can’t quite explain. You don’t need a crisis or to feel like life is overwhelming to justify hitting pause — everybody needs a reset sometimes.
Having healthy coping skills can make all the difference when that happens. So here are some things you can try and come back to whenever you need them.
What you may already be doing to cope
The types of coping tools a lot of us use without even realizing it include things like:
- Distractions: Scrolling for a few minutes on social media, watching TV, gaming, or anything to take your mind off what’s bothering you.
- Physical release: Playing sports, going for a run or a walk, exploring nature, or working out.
- Humor: Cracking jokes, sending memes, finding ways to laugh about the stuff that’s weighing on you.
All of these can be helpful in some situations. Distraction, like getting lost in a book, a show, or a game, can give your brain a break. Physical release, like working out, is a proven stress-buster you can lean on almost anytime. And humor is a powerful way to reframe challenges and connect with others.
But pay attention to whether these things are doing what you need them to do. For example, a game with friends can be a great way to unwind after a stressful day. But if gaming becomes the only way you deal with stress, or you’re gaming all the time to avoid everything else going on in your life, it might be time to add another tool to your toolkit.
Developing healthy coping skills is about finding balance: listening to your body and what it needs, and having a mix of tools you can use. If what you’re doing doesn’t seem to be working anymore, try listening to your body and mind to figure out what you actually need in the moment.
Building your healthy coping toolkit
Having more tools on hand when you need them can help. So here are some suggestions to get you thinking about what might work for you:
- A physical activity you genuinely enjoy: Do something that gets your body moving, whether that’s lifting, dancing, going for a run, or taking a walk.
- A support system: This one takes time, but having friends and trusted adults you can talk to can be a big help. So work on building relationships that feel honest and open, where you can just shoot hoops or grab food together and talk. Practice asking how they’re doing, and opening up about your life with them. That way, when things are overwhelming, you feel OK reaching out for support.
- A creative or expressive hobby: Playing music, drawing, writing, cooking, or any other activity that lets you channel your energy into making something tangible is a great reset. Making something can shift your focus, give you a sense of progress, and remind you that you’re capable of lots of things.
- A go-to stress relief technique: A breathing exercise, visualization, stretching, or something else quick that you can do anywhere — before a big game, after an argument, or when you can’t fall asleep — can calm your body and clear your head.
- A way to process your thoughts: Journaling, talking to a friend, or talking to a therapist can help you get out of your head.
Experiment and find what works for you. Ask yourself: What leaves you feeling more fulfilled and like yourself, ready to handle whatever comes next? If you’re feeling stuck or still searching for ideas on how to cope, here are some other things to try.
When you might need help
Sometimes, no matter how solid your coping skills are, you need a little extra support. It may be time to reach out for help if you’re struggling to keep up with your commitments, having trouble eating or sleeping, or feeling hopeless.
Talk to someone you trust — like a parent, coach, or counselor — to get the support you need.
Sometimes things pile up quickly, and nothing feels like it’s working. Feeling better can take a little time, which can sometimes feel scary. Know that resources are available. If you or someone you know is in a crisis or needs support right now, help is available. Text, call, or chat 988, or text HOME (or HOLA) to 741-741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
And remember: Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s okay if you don’t have it all figured out right now — that doesn’t mean you’re failing. Reaching out for help is how you get through it.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I cope when life feels too overwhelming?
Getting lost in a book or a game can give your brain a break when things feel overwhelming. But if distraction becomes your only way of dealing with stress, or you’re using it to avoid everything else, it might be time to add another coping tool like physical activity or a creative hobby — or begin reaching out for support.
How can I figure out healthy coping skills or tools that work for me?
Experiment with things like a physical activity you enjoy, a creative hobby like art or music, breathing exercises, or journaling. Ask yourself what leaves you feeling more fulfilled and like yourself. If you’re dealing with something more overwhelming, check out these additional resources on coping with uncertainty, coping with traumatic events, or coping with hopelessness.
When should I reach out for extra support?
It may be time to reach out if everyday commitments feel hard to keep up with, eating or sleeping becomes difficult, or you’re feeling hopeless. Talk to someone you trust, like a parent or counselor, and remember that it’s okay if you don’t have everything figured out right now, don’t know what to say, or don’t know where to start.
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