How to Protect Yourself and Be the Real You on Social Media
This article was made possible with the support of NOYZ.
By Dr. Katie Hurley
Whether you prefer to post your own content or browse what other people are up to, using social media can provide entertainment, a sense of community, and a means of self-expression.
That doesn’t mean our online lives are all sunshine and rainbows though. Research tells us that there are positives and negatives to social media, but the potential harmful effects on mental health cannot be understated.
For some young people, social media use can lead to loneliness, fear of missing out, low self-esteem, or feelings of anxiety and depression. One survey of 14- to 24-year-olds showed that youth are particularly concerned about their safety and spending less time on social media.
We may know from firsthand experience that too much social media use can lead to pressure to appear or post a certain way, even if it’s not true to who we really are. Even when using social media doesn’t feel good, we may still find ourselves scrolling because the platforms are designed to increase the amount of time we spend on them.
In the face of those pressures and the features that have us coming back for more, there are ways to protect ourselves — our self-image, identities, and boundaries — and feel more authentic in our online lives.
What Does It Mean to Be Authentic?
Authenticity means different things to different people, but at its core, being authentic is when you:
- Stay true to your values, and your actions align with your values
- Listen to your inner voice and instincts
- Maintain your interests and opinions even when others feel differently than you do
Living authentically is hard, period — especially if you are a member of a marginalized group or your identity is not supported by your family or community. It can be even more difficult when social media is thrown into the mix and you’re constantly being told what to buy, who to like, and which trends to follow. Despite those pressures, there are tools you can use to make your online experience more positive and feel more like you on social media. Below is our expert-backed guide to protecting your mental health and cultivating healthy habits online while staying true to yourself.
How to Protect Your Self-Image and Well-Being on Social Media
Unfollow Accounts That Don’t Make You Feel Good
You don’t have a lot of control over what you see on social media. Most of the time, algorithms decide that for you. What you can do, however, is unfollow users who cause you to doubt or compare yourself. You can be selective. Ask yourself: Why do I follow this account? What does it bring to my life? If you realize an account harbors negativity or you’re not even sure why you follow it, it may be time to hit the unfollow button.
Pro tip: If it’s a friend or family member who has you falling into a comparison trap or posts negative content and you don’t feel comfortable completely unfollowing them, you can mute them. That way, you will see less of their content — or none at all — and they won’t be notified.
Keep a List of Creators Who Inspire You
Which accounts make you feel seen and less alone? Is there someone who never fails to make you smile or laugh, and isn’t afraid to post about the messier, unedited parts of their life?
These are the users you’ll want at the center of your online life. You can keep them there by using the “list” or “favorites” features on various social platforms. For example, you can “favorite” users on Instagram, which causes their posts to show up higher in your feed. On TikTok, you can create a “Collection” of videos you enjoy and return to that when you need a mood boost or creative spark. Try creating a collection of videos you find funny, make you feel inspired, or post helpful tips and life hacks that interest you.
Remember That Social Media Is a Highlight Reel
Social media is not an accurate depiction of daily life. It’s no secret that most of us tend to post about exciting life updates and curated moments — not so much the ordinary things that make up the majority of our days (and also make our lives beautiful!). Keep that in mind when you start to feel perfectionism set in.
Protect Your Mental Health By Turning Off Likes and Comments
Social media is a place to express yourself and what is important and interesting to you. Keep your focus on that by turning off likes and comments on your posts. Likes are known to activate the reward-processing part of the brain, which keeps us coming back for more. Turning them off can help your brain escape that cycle.
If you don’t want to turn off the features completely, you can turn off the push notifications that let you know when someone has liked or commented on a post. That way, you won’t get caught up on who is reacting to what you shared.
Use “Close Friends” Features
Who makes you feel uplifted and free to be yourself? Whether it’s a friend, someone on your sports team, or a sibling, they’re likely the people you gravitate toward in your daily offline life. Why not prioritize them in your online life too?
One way to do that is by creating a Close Friends story on Instagram or a private story on Snapchat and being intentional about who you add. Think: Who gives you a confidence boost? Who shows up for you when you need extra support? Add those people to your private stories as a way to build yourself up and feel less self-conscious when posting.
Set Social Media Boundaries
Social media boundaries are beneficial to everyone, whether you already feel comfortable with your habits or you want to develop a more balanced approach to when and how you use social media. You don’t need to quit cold turkey or change your habits drastically. You can take small steps. Consider these ideas:
- Set a specific time you’ll stop scrolling each day.
- Use the Do Not Disturb feature on your phone when you’re doing schoolwork, spending time with family, or doing something you need to give your full attention to.
- Take a social media break when your phone is on the charger.
- Set up screen-time limits on your phone, if you have them. You can decide how much time you want to spend on each social media platform each day, and you’ll be notified when you’ve hit your limit.
Learn more about how to protect your mental health when you use social media.
Stay Connected IRL
What’s just as important as — if not more important than — finding ways to connect and protect yourself online meaningfully is doing so offline too. Spend time with family members and friends in person in addition to interacting with them through social media. You may find that you feel happier, as research indicates that young people experience significantly more positive moods and less loneliness when interacting face to face.
Tips to Show Your Authentic Self Online
Think About Your Purpose
Think about why you use social media. What do you hope to gain from it, and what do you want to do or post on social media so you reap those gains?
Maybe you’re simply looking to stay connected with friends and family, and so you look at other people’s content more than you post yourself. Maybe you’ve gotten into hiking, drawing, or another hobby, and you want to use Instagram to track your progress through photo dumps and stories. Think about why you use social media, and let that guide your actions online.
Diversify Who You Follow
Social media isn’t just a place to follow friends and celebrities. You can also seek out hobbyists, athletes, or researchers and authors in a particular field that sparks your curiosity or creativity. You’ll be your most authentic self when you follow folks who reflect your values and interests, rather than just influencers or people others tell you to follow. What’s more, you may feel more intrigued and inspired if you use social media as a learning tool, whether it’s to pick up new recipes, try some journaling prompts, or fine-tune your knitting skills.
Lean Into “Authentic” Instead of “Aesthetic”
When posting, remember: The best aesthetic is authentic. Challenge yourself to think less about how something will look on your Instagram grid or from someone else’s perspective and ask yourself: Is this an accurate reflection of me? Is this how I want to show up? Does posting this make me feel good?
Be Mindful of How You Use Filters
Filters are often promoted as a way to “perfect” your appearance. It’s hard not to think it’s all they’re good for when we see celebrities use them regularly and social platforms put out filter after filter that changes the way you look. But a review of existing research suggests that filters can distort the way you see yourself and frequently cause feelings of unhappiness, anxiety, and other mental health challenges.
You can change that narrative in your own life by using filters for enjoyment rather than perfection. Instead of using filters to change your appearance, use them to get creative. Whether it’s adding a vibrant color effect to a photo or playing around with stickers and icons, opt for fun rather than trying to “fix.”
Do What Feels Good to You
One of the best ways to show up as your most authentic self — both on social media and in your everyday offline life — is to do what feels right and good to you.
In the same way you trust your gut when faced with a problem or follow your instincts when you’re worried about a friend, listen to your inner voice when you’re posting, commenting, or doing just about anything online. You know when something feels off or raises a red flag in your mind. You also know when something puts you at ease and makes you feel more like yourself. Follow those feelings.
Get Mental Health Support Right Now
If you or someone you know needs to talk to someone right now, text, call, or chat 988 for a free confidential conversation with a trained counselor 24/7.
You can also contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741-741.
If this is a medical emergency or if there is immediate danger of harm, call 911 and explain that you need support for a mental health crisis.
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