How to Start Therapy: 6 Tips

By Jessica Hicks
So, you’ve made the choice to go to therapy. That’s no small decision — it’s one you should be proud of. But now that you’ve decided you want to start seeing a therapist, you may feel a little stuck.
Between finding a therapist, figuring out your insurance benefits, and scheduling the first session, it’s normal to feel uncertain. Instead of tackling everything at once, take small steps. Here are some ways to feel more comfortable in this process and tips on how to find a therapist who meets your needs.
1. Get Familiar With Therapy Types
Having a basic understanding of language you might see online can help you when researching therapy.
You don’t need to spend time memorizing or studying anything. A little reading goes a long way in helping you feel informed and confident. Some terms and concepts you might hear are:
- Psychotherapy: This is a general term used to describe talk therapy or counseling.
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This type of therapy helps people understand the connections between thoughts, feelings, and reactions and teaches strategies for adapting and coping with their situations.
- Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT): This type of therapy which stems from CBT, teaches people skills to manage intense emotions, cope with difficult situations, and improve relationships. The “dialectical” part of treatment is grounded in understanding that two opposite things can be true at the same time.
- Exposure therapy: In this type of therapy, patients are gradually exposed to the situations, objects, or activities that they fear or usually avoid, in a safe and controlled environment and strategic way determined with their therapist.
- Family systems therapy: This type of therapy considers the whole family as a unit with the goal of improving overall family functioning by addressing how members interact and communicate.
- Psychodynamic therapy: This form of therapy explores the roots of a person’s distress, sometimes buried in past experiences and subconscious thoughts, through self-reflection, self-examination, and exploration of relationships.
- Eye movement and desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy: Thisis a type of psychotherapy designed to relieve the stress of traumatic memories.
While it’s helpful to know about the types of therapy out there, don’t get too hung up on picking one that is “right” for you. Many therapists use a combination of different methods and can adjust their approach based on your needs.
When looking online, you may also come across different therapist credentials. It’s helpful to have a basic understanding of these so you can find a mental health provider who meets your needs.
- Licensed clinical social worker (LCSW): A licensed mental health care professional who has a master’s or doctoral degree in social work. They can help diagnose and counsel those with mental health and behavioral issues and assist with case management and resources.
- Licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT): A licensed mental health care professional with a master’s degree in mental health counseling or marriage and family therapy. They focus on relationships and specialize in working with families and married individuals.
- Licensed psychologist: A mental health care professional who typically holds a doctoral degree in psychology and is licensed, or vetted, by the state they practice in.
- Medical doctor (MD): A licensed health care provider who has a doctoral degree in medicine. While MDs can help diagnose and treat mental health conditions, they do not necessarily specialize in mental health.
2. Learn About What’s Available to You
Before you start looking for a therapist, you might be wondering, “Will my insurance cover therapy?” Call or go online to explore the benefits included in your plan. Your insurance may require you to see a therapist who is “in network,” meaning that the therapist has a contract with your insurance company to provide care to patients on their plan.
Even if your insurance plan includes therapy sessions, you may still be expected to make a co-payment for each session, which is a set fee you pay each time you see a health or mental health care provider. Some therapists will file the paperwork with your insurance company to get coverage. Others can provide a “superbill” that contains a detailed list of their services and the cost, which you can submit to your insurance to potentially get some money back.
Some insurance plans do not cover therapy, which means you would need to pay “out of pocket.” If your insurance doesn’t cover therapy or you don’t have insurance, you can still receive care. Some therapists work on a sliding scale, meaning that they will adjust their fees based on what you are able to pay. You may also be able to find affordable care at local health clinics or through online resources like the Open Path Collective.
Learn more about ways to get affordable mental health care.
3. Lead With Your Needs
There is no one answer to what to look for in a therapist. Everyone’s needs are different, which is why you should spend time thinking about what you want from this experience and what is important to you.
To get the most out of therapy, you’ll need to feel comfortable — not just with your therapist, but with the setting and format of your sessions. Consider these questions:
Setting
- Would I feel most comfortable attending therapy sessions in person or virtually?
- Will it be challenging for me to get to and from in-person sessions? How would I get there?
- If I’m open to online therapy options, when and where can I take them? Will I have enough privacy at home? Do I have a device and a strong internet connection so I can have uninterrupted sessions?
Identity
- Do I want a therapist who shares aspects of my identity?
- Would I feel more comfortable with a therapist who is closer to my age? Or, do I feel OK seeing a therapist who is older?
Format
- Do I want to attend individual, family, or group therapy?
- Would it be helpful to have therapy sessions with family members? Would my family member(s) be there to support me or because there is a problem I want us work on together?
- If I’m considering group therapy, do I feel comfortable opening up and getting advice with my peers, or would I find this difficult?
4. Find a Provider (or Two)
Once you have a better idea of your needs, you can set out to find a therapist. You can start by asking trusted friends, family members, school counselors or health practitioners, or your doctor for recommendations. Or, you can use online portals. Your insurance company may offer a portal where you can search for in-network therapists.
There are also many online portals where you can find therapists who meet certain criteria, like specializing in certain mental health conditions or challenges, having virtual sessions, or aligning with your identity and background.
Check how to find a queer-friendly or gender affirming therapist or a culturally competent therapist.
At this stage, it might be helpful to identify a few therapists who seem like they could be a good fit. This way, you have options in case one can’t work with your budget, schedule, or other needs.
5. Come With Questions
Some therapists will offer to do a free 15- or 20-minute consult call so they can introduce themselves and share their approach. In most cases, the therapist will lead the call and ask questions about who you are and what you want to work on. If your therapist does not offer a consult call, you can cover this in your first session.
This is also a chance for you to ask questions and figure out how you feel talking to the therapist. Some questions you might ask are:
- What is your approach to therapy?
- Do you work with other clients like me? Or, you can ask more specific questions: Do you work with clients in the LGBTQIA+ community, AAPI community, etc.?
- When are you available to have sessions?
- How do you measure your clients’ progress?
- Do you or does your practice offer financial support or tech support if needed?
After the call, you might ask yourself:
- How did I feel talking to this therapist?
- Can I see myself opening up and being honest with them?
- Did I feel like I was being listened to?
6. Take Care of Yourself
It can take time to find a therapist who meets your needs. Sometimes, it’s a matter of trial and error. If you’re starting to feel discouraged, ask for help in your search. Talking to a friend or a guidance counselor and leaning on community resources may help.
For more resources and tips on practicing self-care during this time, check out:
- How to Take Care of Yourself by Connecting With Others
- How to Relieve Stress: Breathing Exercises You Can Do Anywhere
- How Music Can Improve Your Mental Health
With time and patience, you can find a mental health care provider who meets your needs and helps you feel seen and heard.
Learn More About Supporting Your Mental Health
How to Find Mental Health Care When You’re Concerned About Privacy
8 Ways to Take Care of Yourself When You’re Waiting for Mental Health Care