Recognizing Signs of Cyberbullying

By Cassie Shortsleeve

Cyberbullying sounds like something you should be able to spot if it’s happening to you, but experts agree it’s not always easy to recognize even though more than half of U.S. teens have been bullied or harassed online. 

Across different forms, bullying typically involves a pattern of negative interactions that leave the person targeted feeling powerless to change the behavior. Overt forms of bullying that happen in person can be easier to spot. When bullying occurs online or on digital devices, the behavior is easily hidden or removed and can include anonymous aggressors. 

Anonymity can remove some of the natural checks that come with face-to-face interaction. When someone doesn’t have to see the impact of their words in real time, or feel immediately accountable for them, it can lower the barrier to cyberbullying — making it more likely that someone says something hurtful they might not say in person. But cyberbullying has a bunch of negative consequences, including higher rates of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and thoughts of suicide.

Given how shareable digital content is, it’s also easy for posts to spread quickly, creating a potentially wider impact. One comment can stick with you, take on a life of its own if shared, and ultimately leave you feeling down and out or worse about yourself. 

Everyone is susceptible to cyberbullying, but some populations, including girls, young women, and LGBTQ+ and teens of color, are at increased risk. 

Here’s what cyberbullying may look like while it’s happening—and what to do if you think you’re on the receiving end of it.

Signs You’re Being Cyberbullied

Cyberbullying can appear in many different ways:

• Posting rumors or mean messages about you on social media.
• Messaging you to call you names, make derogatory comments, or threaten to hurt you.
• Repeated messaging even after being asked to stop.
• Making fake accounts in your name and pretending to be you on online forums or social media sites.
• Asking you for personal details or keeping tabs on you digitally, such as if someone constantly asks who you are with, what you’re doing, or where you are.
• Creating mean memes or shareable content about you without your permission.
• Sending or leaving unwanted explicit messages, images, or comments.
• Being deliberately excluded from group chats or online spaces where groups of peers are gathering.
• Doxxing; sharing private information publicly.
• Creating polls designed to rank someone in a negative way.
• Going behind your back in your social circle online.
• Coordinated harassment, where several people pile on negative comments at once.

Not sure if the behavior you’re experiencing online is cyberbullying? Think about how it makes you feel. If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you may be experiencing cyberbullying.

• Do I feel upset about the messages I get on my phone or computer?
• Have I noticeably increased or decreased my tech use because interacting with people online stresses me out?
• Am I hiding my screen from friends or family members because I’m embarrassed about or ashamed of the messages I’m getting or the people I’m interacting with?
• Do I avoid social situations in person because of something upsetting happening to me online?
• Am I withdrawing from friends and family or losing interest in activities I love?
• Do I feel excluded, like there’s a text or DM thread I’m intentionally not a part of?
• Do I feel like my online world is made up of negativity and feel helpless about it?

What to Do If You’re Being Cyberbullied

If you find yourself the target of bullying or you see cyberbullying happening around you, here are some recommended steps to take.

• Do not respond or retaliate. This can escalate the situation.
• Block and report. Each platform has steps to take to report cyberbullying.
• Take photos of threatening or embarrassing messages with a separate device and show them to someone you trust. If you’re in school, you can show a parent or caregiver, school counselor, or coach. If you’re older, you can show a friend or HR professional at work.
• Block the person on all platforms where they may be able to continue cyberbullying you.
• Put distance between you and your devices. In addition to blocking the person, you can disconnect from social media sites or keep your phone in another room to help you get some space from the incident.
• Report the incident to the platform on which the bullying took place. If the bullying behavior took place on a public site or online forum, administrators may be able to deactivate or restrict an account to prevent future incidents.
• Protect your accounts by tightening privacy settings on each platform. 
• Help stop the cycle by not posting or resharing content that could be harmful to others.

Cyberbullying can negatively affect your mental health. Getting help is important.

Learn how to get the help you need

If you feel like you need help right now, or if you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts: 

• Text HOME (or HOLA) to 741-741 for a confidential conversation with a trained counselor at any time of day.
• Text or call 988 or use the chat function at 988lifeline.org.

Learn More About Social Media and Your Mental Health

• How Social Media Can Impact Mental Health
• Do I Have a Social Media Addiction?
• 7 Ways Social Media Can Benefit Your Mental Health
• Social Media and Body Image: How to Manage the Negative Impact
• Understanding Social Comparison on Social Media
• Understanding Social Media Use and Balance
• Am I a Cyberbully? Examples of Cyberbullying and How to Stop