Reject Stereotypes and Define Yourself as a Young Black Man | JED

How to Reject Stereotypes and Define Yourself as a Young Black Man

By Tiffany Eve Lawrence

Stereotypes about young Black men are more than whispers in a crowd. They are misconceptions that sustain negative ideas about the Black community, fueling discrimination and prejudice. 

You shouldn’t have to cope with harmful stereotypes. You alone cannot put them to rest, nor is it your responsibility to do so — and you shouldn’t even have to make peace with them. Instead, you can combat stereotypes by protecting yourself from internalizing them and finding ways to live as your most authentic self.

How to Actively Reject Stereotypes and Nurture Your Identity

Combating stereotypes doesn’t mean fighting every box people try to put you in, but rather defining yourself on your own terms and living in a way that lines up with your values and needs. Here are a few ways to do that. 

Question Negative or Stereotypical Thoughts 

When you label yourself in a negative way, question where it came from. Did it stem from a stereotype within your community or a response to an unfair and incorrect expectation of you? Getting to the base of the thought may help you realize it’s not rooted in reality.

Then you can reframe your thinking and replace that thought with a positive fact about yourself. If you think, for example, “I can’t believe I cried earlier — I’m so weak,” you may counter that thought with something like, “I cried earlier and it was an emotional release. That’s OK. I’ve been under a lot of stress, but I’m getting through it. I am resilient.”

Create a Physical Reminder of Who You Are 

Write down who you are. List your likes and dislikes. Include places you like to go, music you enjoy, and how you create. You can include your positive personality traits and even areas that need improvement. Seeing yourself on paper offers a look at reality and something tangible to help you combat stereotypes.

If you’re not into writing, you can create a digital or paper collage or vision board. Cut out images that align with your personality and match your goals, such as the type of career you want to pursue, the fashion you like, or even your dream car. You can also use apps or other digital tools to create a digital collage of your personality and identify traits that speak to who you are.

Focus on Supportive People and Places

A support network that respects you and truly knows you will inspire you to show up as your authentic self. Friends who hold you accountable to making good decisions and going after your goals won’t knowingly allow you to internalize stereotypes. Make an effort to surround yourself with supportive people and spend time in spaces that allow you to be your true self, whether it’s your gym, church, community center, or somewhere else. 

In the same way you can be intentional about spending time in affirming spaces, you can also be mindful of relationships, environments, and institutions that do not fully support your sense of self. Recognizing unsupportive people and places and setting boundaries around them is just as important in finding a sense of safety and rejecting stereotypes.

Curate a Positive Social Media Feed

Due to implicit bias, stereotypes are often pushed through movies, music, social media, news, and other forms of media. When watching, listening to, or reading something, ask yourself: “How do I feel when consuming this? Do I feel empowered, inspired, or seen? Or do I feel shameful, misrepresented, or reduced to an idea or image that doesn’t suit me?” 

If you notice negative feelings, protect yourself by rejecting it: Turn it off, unfollow, limit posts, or do something else to reduce your exposure to it. Then turn on a show or podcast, read a book, or follow a creator who reinforces your value and helps you feel celebrated and validated. 

It’s not always easy to actively reject stereotypes when they have been part of our society for so many years. Keep these tips in your back pocket for when the weight of stereotypes feels a bit heavy and you want to get back in touch with who you really are.

The Truth About Stereotypes in the Black Community

When you’re feeling defeated by stereotypes, remember this: The stereotypes associated with the Black community are systemic. In other words, they were created and perpetuated by those in positions of power to prevent the upward growth of the Black community. 

This meant generations of Black people had to keep their heads down and survive. They didn’t have the privilege to admit they were burned out or dealing with anxiety. As a result, the pressure to be strong no matter what became prevalent, creating a stereotype that you’re not tough enough if you admit you need help.

Existing with those stereotypes, you may not want to be honest about having a difficult time in school or at work, or with processing your feelings, out of fear you will appear weak. (Reminder: You’re not.) Until this point, you may not have felt like you had permission to be vulnerable. (You do.) You may have also let those stereotypes impact your self-image, internalizing them to some extent without even realizing it. That’s why it’s so important to challenge and reframe them and find ways to live as your true self.

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