How to Cope with Sadness and Depressive Feelings

Everyone feels sad sometimes. Sadness can be tough to deal with, whether it stems from a fight with a friend, a breakup, or just a bad day. But you aren’t alone in feeling it, it is a normal part of life, and there are ways to feel better.

When feelings of sadness persist and are paired with other symptoms, there is a chance it could be depression. 

This guide will help you understand the difference between normal sadness and depression and how to cope with both.

What’s the Difference Between Sadness and Depression?

Sadness is a feeling of being down or upset, often because of something disappointing or hurtful. This feeling usually goes away with time, by taking care of yourself, or doing things you enjoy.

Depression, on the other hand, is characterized by an unusually low mood, sometimes with no real cause or trigger, for two or more weeks. Depression can also be accompanied by outbursts of anger or irritability, tiredness, and a lack of interest in activities you usually enjoy. Depression often needs help from a doctor, especially if it includes serious symptoms like suicidal thoughts. And while it can initially be linked to a particular trigger, depression often persists even when the difficult situation has passed.

The main difference between sadness and depression is that sadness is universal; depression is not. And while there are different types of depression, there are ways to cope with sadness and depressive feelings.

How to Cope With Sadness or Mild Depression

Situational sadness and mild depression might feel similar. However, both often improve with lifestyle changes and better self-care habits. Here are some things that may help:

• Use your senses: Watch a favorite movie, listen to music that fits your mood, enjoy a favorite snack, or hold something comforting like a soft blanket.
• Connect with others: Talk to a friend or family member, or consider volunteering.
• Move your body: Exercise, dance, or go for a walk.
• Do something you enjoy: Spend time with pets, create art, play music, or work on a hobby.
• Write about your feelings: Use a journal, either on paper or digitally.
• Cry if you need to: Crying can be a healthy way to release feelings.
• Learn more about your mental health: You can find more resources on JED.
• Give it time: Sometimes, sadness fades with time. Allow yourself to feel it and be patient.

Also, take care of your basic needs by getting enough sleep, drinking water, eating nutritious food, and balancing work with leisure time.

How to Help Someone Who’s Sad

When we’re close to someone, we’re often best suited to notice when they might be feeling more down than normal. It’s important to reach out and check in. If you’re not sure where to start, these tips can help you start the conversation. Some other things you can do include:

Avoid Shaming

Feeling sad or depressed can often impact how we accomplish daily tasks and how we interact with our loved ones. This can cause guilt and shame that can further contribute to an already depressed mood. Avoid language that shames them for feeling sad, and instead, recognize the effort they are putting in and remind them you are here for them, in all phases of life.

Be a Good Listener

When your loved one shares their feelings or concerns, be present and listen. Listening and responding from an authentic place of care means you need to temporarily set aside your worries, judgments, to-do lists, and anything else demanding your attention. 

Simply being present, without trying to “fix” anything for your loved one, can make a big difference. And as much as you want to leave your loved one feeling “up” when the conversation ends, trying to cheer them up can feel like unwanted pressure. Sticking to simply listening and asking questions, is often more helpful than dispensing wisdom or advice.

Ask How You Can Be Supportive

This is an important question to ask because different people have different needs. Something that might be really helpful to one person may have no effect or even be harmful to another. Let them tell you what they need.

If they don’t know exactly what they need help with, offer up small things such as:

• Being an active, available listener the next time they’re feeling sad
• Planning a movie, game night, or other fun activity
• Helping them with small tasks like laundry, dishes, studying, etc.
• Offering to accompany them to a first therapy appointment, or to get coffee or lunch before or after their appointment

Pay Attention

Notice changes in feelings, thoughts, or behaviors. Sometimes, sadness stays just that — a feeling. If you’re concerned that your friend or loved one might be suffering from depression, refer them to a licensed professional or crisis hotline. If they need to talk to someone right now, help them: 

• Text, call, or chat 988 for a free confidential conversation with a trained counselor 24/7
• Contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741-741
• If it’s a medical emergency or there is immediate danger of harm, call 911 and explain that your loved one needs support for a mental health crisis

Learn more about how and when to start a conversation with a struggling friend and how to get help.

How to Notice If You Need Help

It’s common to dismiss our own feelings or changes in behavior as “nothing” or “just a rough patch.” But if you’re feeling down, you can reflect on how you’re feeling and if your sadness is becoming more than just temporary. Some things you should ask yourself and keep asking:

• Is my sadness getting worse or lasting a long time?
• Does it come at certain times, like specific months or days?
• Are there sudden changes in my mood?
• Did a big life event trigger these feelings, such as losing a loved one or a change in job, school, living situation, or something else?
• Are you having thoughts about hurting yourself or ending your life?

If you answer yes to these questions — especially the last one — it’s important to talk to someone about what you’re going through. If you are actively having thoughts about ending your life, reach out to your caregiver, doctor, a therapist, or another adult you trust as soon as possible.

Remember, sadness is normal, but if at any point your depressive symptoms are getting in the way of how you live your life or how you perform in work, school, or in your relationships, ask for help.

Check out these articles to learn more about depression and get the help you—or someone you care about—needs:

What’s the Difference Between Sadness and Depression?

How Do I Know If It’s Depression?

What Causes Depression?

Different Types of Depression: What’s the Difference Between Mild, Moderate, and Severe?

How Is Depression Diagnosed and Treated?

6 Tips for Managing Depression

What Is the Connection Between Suicide and Depression?

How Can I Help Someone Who Seems Depressed?

How to Tell Someone I’m Depressed and Ask for Help