Understanding Social Comparison on Social Media

Social media use across platforms (Facebook, X, Snapchat, Instagram, etc.) has increased drastically in the past decade. Humans are intrinsically social creatures, so the opportunities for connection offered by social media have made it especially popular. Connecting with others and scrolling through posted content are two of the primary uses of social media.

Researchers continue to study both the positive and negative ways that social media may impact mental health and connectedness among young people. One of the primary discoveries is the role that social comparison plays in our social media experience. The tendency to compare ourselves to others is natural, but, in this case, having the tendency to notice people on social media who we judge (subconsciously or even unconsciously) as being better than us in key ways often has a negative mental and emotional health impact.

Why is social comparison on social media important?

Long hours spent on social media and other platforms can feel or even be addicting. It can also increase the potential for symptoms of depression and anxiety and thoughts of suicide, as well as poor self-esteem, poor body image, and disordered eating. One of the links between screen time, including social media, and these negative outcomes is social comparison.

What are some ways social comparison can harm us?

Negative social comparison or the fear of missing out (FOMO) — the worry that someone else is having a better time or is more successful than you — can impact our mental health in a variety of ways.

• Increased risk of depression: Feeling envy and down on ourselves because of what others post on social media is associated with worsening depression.
• Decreased overall well-being: People who are heavy users of social media (upwards of five hours a day) have been shown to have a lower sense of self, suffer from depression, and even have thoughts of suicide.
• Poor body image: A crucial factor in self-esteem, especially in adolescent development, negative self-comparison is a common phenomenon for both men and women on social media. Although the idealized standards for men’s and women’s bodies are different, both are vulnerable to poor body image and low self-esteem. This is true online, as well, with the rise in cyberbullying.
• Eating disorders: More time on social media is also associated with the desire to change one’s body through disordered eating habits. One pervasive manifestation is the diet tea craze and other restrictive “cleanses,” commonly promoted by influencers with idealized body types that have often been distorted or edited for social media.

Does social comparison affect some more than others?

People of any age can be affected by social comparison on social media, but adolescents (ages 13 to 18) and young adults (19 to 24) are particularly vulnerable to the negative effects. The main reason is how social media affects the formation of our identity. Our identity is formed by creating one that’s unique and stands out, while also creating one that fits in with a social group and allows us to feel like we belong.

Social media plays to both parts. The profile we create is made up of the parts of our identity we like best and want to present to the world, while the feedback we get in terms of likes, friends, and interaction feeds our need for belonging and acceptance.

Gender and social media comparison

More research is needed to determine if females are truly more affected by social media than males, but currently we know that girls are more likely to have lower feelings of well-being due to social media usage. That could be for a number of reasons, but the targeting of beauty-related ads, the growing popularity of “fitspiration” and “thinspiration” accounts, and the mass adoption of filters that constantly present idealized and unrealistic images — not to mention the prevalence of cyberbullying, especially among young girls — are all ingredients. If you’re the victim of cyberbullying, or you know someone who is, there are ways to cope.

How to tell if you’re socially comparing yourself to others

In all of these studies, the worst outcomes in terms of negative feelings were associated with more time spent on social media apps. In order to minimize social comparison, consider limiting your time there. A few other things you can do are:

• Be aware of your triggers: Notice which posts make you feel down on yourself and start the comparison trap. Consider unfollowing those people.
• Remember that it’s not real: Don’t compare someone’s outside to your inside. These posts are designed for attention; they aren’t real life.
• Practice gratitude: Try to focus on what you have in your life instead of what you don’t. It can be small, but acknowledging what you have can be really helpful in minimizing comparison.
• Limit social media use: Make use of apps that help you limit your time spent on particular platforms by setting a daily limit or times during the day when you can’t access social media from your phone.
• Focus on the positive: Try to follow people and view posts that inspire you, rather than those who leave you feeling negative about yourself or others.

How to help a friend who’s socially comparing

It’s important to speak up if you see a friend fixating on their likes or friend count, experiencing cyberbullying, or trying detoxes or other disordered eating habits to look like their favorite influencer. By making sure they know how important your friendship is outside of social media, and the importance of their physical and emotional health, you let them know that their worth extends offline. You can also share what you’ve learned here and encourage them to structure their social media use in ways that support, rather than challenge, their mental health.

Next steps and getting the help and support you need

Social media by itself isn’t the cause of these issues. Low self-esteem, poor body image, and being vulnerable to mental illness often make people more likely to seek out validation and community through social media. Positive interactions and self-expression through social media are beneficial, but predatory advertisements (e.g., “thinspiration” and detox programs), idealized lives from influencers, and cyberbullying are the main culprits on social media that lead to comparison and negative outcomes such as increased depression, anxiety, disordered eating, and suicidal thoughts.

If you or someone you know just can’t kick your social media habit despite it making you feel worse or you’re struggling with your mental health separate from social media, the most important thing you can do is ask for help. If someone you know is in this position, you can get them help. Depression, anxiety, disordered eating, and suicidal thoughts should never go ignored.

Find out how to get the support you need and deserve.

If you or someone you know needs help right now:

• Text HOME to 741-741 for a free, confidential conversation with a trained counselor any time of day.
• Text or call 988 or use the chat function at 988lifeline.org.
• If this is a medical emergency or there is immediate danger of harm, call 911 and explain that you need support for a mental health crisis.

Learn More About Social Media and Your Mental Health

• How Social Media Can Impact Mental Health
• Do I Have a Social Media Addiction?
• 7 Ways to Protect Your Mental Health When You Use Social Media
• Social Media and Body Image: How to Manage the Negative Impact
• Understanding Social Media Use and Balance
• Am I a Cyberbully? Examples of Cyberbullying and How to Stop
• Recognizing Signs of Cyberbullying